


the melancholy story of you and me

by urmom08



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Coming of Age, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, kinda rushed at the end, no beta we die like men, they’re in love your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urmom08/pseuds/urmom08
Summary: Oikawa’s journey to realizing that he is in love with Iwaizumi and the hardships that come with that.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 23





	the melancholy story of you and me

five

Tooru didn’t know how to approach the other kids. They had nothing in common and to his knowledge they didn’t like new kids.

No one likes the new kid.

But there was this one boy, Iwaizumi Haijme if he remembers correctly, kept looking at him. His eyes were like an open invitation.

The other kids were being mean to him, they didn’t like the new kids and Tooru didn’t understand why, he wasn’t much different from them, he too was just another five year old looking for someone to play with.

And then he came, his night and shining armor you could say. He heard about them in a book his sister read to him.  
  


”Let’s play!” The boy, Iwaizumi said to him.

”Okay, I’m Oikawa Tooru”

”Iwaizumi Haijme”

”Alright let’s play Iwa-chan”

He sputtered, his face heating up at the nickname, “D-don’t call me that”

He just laughed and pulled his hand over to the swing set.

.

.

.

.

The rain was falling hard by the time they reached Iwaizumi’s house. They were playing in the woods near by when Tooru tripped and cut his knee’s open, he tried not to cry too much as Iwa-can carried him to his house.

When his mom opened the door she gasped in surprise and went to get the medical kit. Iwa-chan carried him to the kitchen table and put him down.

As the mom was bandaging his knees he squeezed Iwa-chan’s hand, he smiled a little when he squeezed back.

”Ne, Tooru-kun how about you stay the night”, Iwa-chan’s Mother spoke up.

He nodded hard, “I would love too!”

Iwa-chan rolled his eyes and showed him to his room.

That night they shared a bed and Tooru’s heart was beating a little too fast.

.

.

.

.

_ten_

He set a volleyball as he talked to Iwa-chan. He was lying on his bed while his company took the floor.

”I want to play setter, so be my ace Iwa-chan!” He stated with confidence.

He looked taken aback for a moment before reply, “Has the heat gotten to your head Sappykawa”

Tooru stuck his tongue out at him, “Just kidding I wouldn’t want a brute like you”

The other looked offended, “Oh really?” His fist curled up.

Tooru felt the urge to gulp, “Kidding kidding” He jumped off the bed and sat in front of the boy grabbed his hands, “Be my ace”

There faces were inches apart when Iwa-chan found his voice, “Whatever”

They stayed like that for a few more seconds before Tooru got up a resumed setting the ball.

At school, this girl named Misaki liked one of the guys in their class. 

At lunch he overheard some of the guys teasing her, they pulled on her pigtails and kept asking her about her feelings.

She ran out of the room crying, Tooru for some odd reason followed her. When he found her he asked, “What’s it like?”

Misaki looked at him with round eyes, and sobbed harder, “YOU’RE HERE TO MAKE FUN OF ME TOO!!”

Tooru was so lost all he could do was open his arms, Misaki noticed the gesture and cried into his chest.   
  


“It’s okay Misaki-chan, I was just curious I’m sorry”

She shook her head in his arms, “It’s alright Oikawa-san” she paused for a minute catching her breath, “You always want to be around them, your heart beats super fast whenever they happen to look at you, and overall you can never stop thinking about them”

Tooru thought about what she said for a moment and thought out loud, “Hm that’s the way I feel around Iwa-chan”

Misaki shot up in his arms, “Really Oikawa-San? Don’t worry your secret is safe with me” She was smiling widely and wiped her snot away as she said that.

He tilted his head confused by that, “It doesn’t have to be a secret, if your worried about me being teased I doubt that. All the boys tease Misaki-chan because she’s the prettiest!”

Misaki giggled, “No, you like a boy and you are a boy; my father says that people like that are strange. So I’ll keep your secret so no one will make fun of you!”

Strange? He thought he was fairly normal. He never thought as Iwa-chan as a boy; Iwa-chan was Iwa-chan.   
  


She whispered into his ear, “Your a homosexual Oikawa-san, people look down on people like you. They find it weird and unnatural”

Tooru felt like crying.

.

.

.

.

_Twelve_

He really was strange. Ever since he told Misaki about his feelings it was all he can think about. Even two years later. He started middle school this year and all he wanted to focus on was starting in volleyball.

He practiced everyday, venting out his frustrations on each serve. Pretending like he can forget about his feelings if he can hit the ball hard enough.

Tooru started watching other people play. He stayed up late at night to compare different setters styles. He was gonna be the best. Or he will burn out trying.

At school, he gathered a fan club, he messy brown hair and growth spurt has girls all over him.

He never accepted the confessions, he couldn’t bring himself to like them like that. They were pretty sure, but for some reason he didn’t really get the hype.

”Yo, Loserkawa, you better not stay up too late watching official games” Iwa-chan called after him as they walked home from practice.

”Of course not Iwa-chan I do need my beauty sleep, but I wonder what would everyone do if I got more attractive?” Tooru then winked at him.

The brute that he is threw his bag at him. Tooru’s pretty sure the whole neighborhood could hear his laugh.

Then he remembered, he has to keep his distance, if his feelings for Iwa-chan grew he would for sure be gay.

he couldn’t be gay.

He just couldn’t.

.

.

.

.

He had a doctors appointment, apparently his eyesight was so bad that he needed glasses. He wanted to protest this but realized it was futile.

That night he was wearing his new glasses and watching official matches when he heard a knock at his window.

“What are you doing here Iwa-chan?”

He shrugged as he climbed in, “I was bored and knew you would be up all night watching those videos”

He was still not over the shock that Iwa-chan was in his house at 2:34 am. He wordlessly climbed back into his bed and moved over for Iwa-chan to fit in.

He hated how his face heated up when their hands met.

He was so far in denial. These feelings for Iwa had to be platonic. He wasn’t gay. He couldn’t be. He likes girls. Pretty girls with their curvy hips and round boobs. He likes girls.

Or at least he was going too.

At the end of his first year his pursue in volleyball payed off. He was finally started in a match. He shook off his nervous energy as Iwa-chan sent him a warm smile.

They won the game 2-1 and Tooru felt like he was walking on cloud nine.

(it was no surprise when Tooru made the starting line the next games too)

At the end of his first year they had a party for all the graduating 3rd years. There was alcohol involved but none of the first years had any.

At around the time the party was supposed to end, the 2nd year manger approached him.

She was pretty, she had long wavy black hair, her baby bangs framed her face nicely. She had a slime waist with nice thighs. And all the boys couldn’t stop talking about her boobs. Iwa-chan brought it up from time to time too. He ignored the stinging in his chest whenever he did.

”Wanna get out of here?” , Her voice was like honey.

He looked to see Iwa-chan encouraging him. He felt a familiar emotion build up.

”Lead the way”

She took them to the bed room and the talked for was seemed hours. Eventually she leaned and kissed him.

He let her steer the way. Opening his mouth for her tongue to come in. He didn't find much enjoyment in it. He could’ve been making out with the newspaper for all he cared, he told himself that kissing just wasn’t that interesting. And the movies was lying to him.

Deep down he knew that wasn’t the truth.

(Later on the guys would ask him how it was, he would give a shy smile and say she was amazing.)

God he needs a girl friend.

.

.

.

.

_Fourteen_

He knew deep down why he wasn’t connecting with any of his girl friends. He kept making excuses when Iwa-chan asked why they broke up.

So when he was home alone he finally got the courage to look up gay porn. After a few seconds he felt his pants get tight. He wanted to punch something or cry or both.

He tried to watch straight porn, but at last the tightness in his pants never came. So he watched gay porn and pleased himself.

When he reached the climax he cried. Tooru knew there was no denying it anymore. He was gay and in love with his best friend. He cried harder until the tears couldn’t fall anymore. And he did the only thing that would make him feel better. He called Iwa-chan.

“Shittykawa why are you calling me so late?”

”...”

”Hello?”

”Iwa-chan”, he hated how his voice broke.

”Oikawa?! Are you okay? What’s wrong”

”Can you come over”

”Yeah of course loserkawa, I’ll see you in 5”

When he heard the familiar knock at his window he sluggishly walked over and opened it. Iwa walked in and looked over him.

Tooru knew it must’ve been a surprise to Iwa-chan to even get this call let alone see Oikawa in this state.   
  


They stared at each other for a little bit neither daring to speak until finally Iwa-chan broke the silence, “Oikawa” was all he said, it came out as a whisper.

Tooru walked over to him and collapsed in his arms. He doesn’t know when he started crying or when they moved to his bed. But he does know they fell asleep cuddling.

He hates himself for the happiness that builds up seeing Iwa’s sleeping face.

He was in the beginning of his third year when this girl named Aiko confessed to him. She wasn’t the typical beauty. Not a lot of boys seemed to like her and she was the shy type.

But in her own right she was pretty. She had short choppy blonde hair with choppier bangs. Her green eyes seemed to sparkle as she talked about how much she liked him.

He said yes.

He regrets saying yes because this year he put every ounce of himself into volleyball. A new first year named Kageyama Tobio joined the team. He was a prodigy in his own right.   
  


He pushed himself to the limit, serving at least one hundred serves to even feel close to satisfied, he practiced setting to the point his nimble fingers would ache when he moved them.

But he couldn’t be out bested by the new kid. He spent years off his life just trying to get where he was, he put so much effort into this that getting beat by a prodigy seemed unfair.

  
  


During practice Aiko showed up out of now where, “C-can I borrow Tooru for a second” Her face turned red when everyone stared at her.   
  


“You heard the lady”, The coach laughed, “Go on Oikawa-san”

When they stepped out into the hall was she started fidgeting, “I’m sorry to bother you while you playing; but um how should I put this? We haven’t seen much of each other recently and I miss you. I was wondering if you want to go on a date this weekend. We don’t have to! It was only a suggestion of course!” She kept bowing at him. It was kinda cute.

But she was interrupting his practice. 

He’s gonna lose, he’s going to lose. He’s not improving. He isn’t getting better, he’s a failure. He can’t get better.

”-Ooru, Tooru?”

”Ah sorry and of course Aiko-chan. I wouldn’t miss it for the world”

She brightened up at that, “Yay! I’ll see you then!”

When he walked into the gym Iwa was glaring at him, “You left practice to flirt with your girlfriend”, he knows he sucks and needs practice don’t remind him.

”Aw is Iwa-chan jealous, maybe even a brute like him can get a pretty girlfriend like Aiko-chan!”

He deserved the ball that was thrown at him.

His date with Aiko went well enough. She wore a really pretty top and skirt. While he himself stuck to a plaid shirt. After lunch they went back to her house.

She had a cute room, it was a beige and had many posters of anime’s. He recognized the code geoss one along with the sailor moon one.   
  


She dragged him to her bed and she pressed a kiss to his mouth. They made out for a little before she started moving down.

Stop, he thought as she started unbuttoning his pants.

Stop

Stop

Please stop.

He didn’t stop her.

After that he was put everything he had into volleyball. He smiled and teased more. Tooru didn’t want anyone to realize how much he was hurting.

And one day he just snapped. He was switched out of the game. And the game against Ushiwaka was approaching. He felt panicked. He was about to lose the only thing he wanted. Tobio had asked him to help him serve, he doesn’t even remember swinging but he felt Iwa’s hand stop him. 

Tooru’s eyes blew wide. He felt his hand shaking. He almost hit Tobio, holy shit he almost hit someone because they asked him how to serve.

”sorry”

Iwa dismissed Tobio.

”The switch today was supposed to clear you head, you need some composure”

No he doesn’t understand. He can’t understand. They’re all beating me. I have to beat Ushiwaka or he will always be blocking my path I can never move forward.

“Right now, I can’t win against Shiratorizawa. So there’s no way I can have composure. I want to win and go to nationals I need to-“

Iwa cut him off by head butting him. He proceeded to explain to him that a team of six is how you win not just by yourself. He explanation could have used less dumbasses though.

But suddenly he felt invincible.

A couple days before he won the setters award Tooru and Aiko broke up. It wasn’t a big deal nor was it emotional it was more like they just didn’t see each other like that any more. They promised to stay good friends.

Winning the setters award was the happiest moment of his life. It felt like all his hard work wasn’t for nothing. Tooru also wanted to brag to Tobio about it but before he could Iwa brought up something interesting. He said how his smile was one of the rare genuine ones. And he guessed that it was true.

.

.

.

.

_Fifteen_

The summer before their first year at high school Iwa-chan left to go work at his uncles company. Leaving Tooru alone for most of the summer.

Although they spent Iwa’s breaks texting and/or calling.

During his morning run he ran into a boy. The boy was super attractive. He had fluffy blonde hair with blue tips they were around the same height and the boy had a skinny build.

”I’m so sorry”, Blue tips spluttered, “Are you okay? Oh my god should I call a ambulance, is calling a ambulance a little dramatic”

Tooru cut off the boys rant, “I’m fine don’t worry, I’m Oikawa, Oikawa Tooru”

The boys eyes went wide, “You’re that setter, I read that you got that award!”

He reminded Tooru of a puppy. 

“Oh I forgot to introduce myself I’m Suzuki Yuki”, He rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a pen and grabbed Tooru’s hand, “Call me okay?”

As Suzuki started to run away Tooru called after him, “I’ll talk to you later _pretty boy_ ”

Suzuki tripped and fell flat on his face at those words. Tooru couldn’t stop laughing at that for the rest of his run.

He called Suzuki that night and he recommended that they go to a park. The park they decided on was fairly close to Tooru’s so he was the first to arrive 

When Suzuki arrived a short while later and immediately apologized for making Tooru late. After the initial awkwardness Tooru convinced Suzuki to talk about himself. And Suzuki did the same for Tooru. One thing led to another and suddenly they were kissing one another.

His hands grabbed at Suzuki’s fluffy hair and Suzuki let out a soft whimper. Tooru’s head was fuzzy he felt like he wanted more. He was out of breath by the time they finally pulled away from each other.   
  


Suzuki’s pale skin had a pink tint to it. His brown eyes sparkling. He looked off to the side face getting redder, “That was the first time I did something like that”

That was his first time?! Maybe it was the fact that Tooru was kissing someone that he was actually attracted to but Suzuki was really good at this.

”Well lucky me, your really good at this Suzuki!”, Tooru told him earnestly.

The boy in question lit up. He pressed a soft kiss to Tooru’s mouth making butterflies swarm in his stomach.   
  


“Don’t be afraid to contact me Oikawa-san” Suzuki jogged off and just like that Tooru was alone at the park.

He pulled out his phone and immediately called Iwa.

”Hey what’s up Loserkawa”

He couldn’t stop himself from giggling, “Today I ran straight into this erm girl and she was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. She has white blond hair with blue tips. And holy shit she had a nice body. Anyways she gave me her number and we met up and made out in the park near our house; best make out session I had yet!” He felt guilty lying about Suzuki’s gender but he wasn’t ready for Iwa to know where his interests lied.

”...”

”Iwa-chan?”

”That is quite the interesting story Crappykawa but I’m really tired so I have to go see you later”

What the hell was that? Maybe Iwa really was tired then.

”Alright Iwa-chan don’t let the bed bugs bite”

After that Suzuki and Tooru met up a few more times to make out until one day Suzuki came over to his house with a bruise on his cheek.

”Haha so my parents found out about us meeting and they weren’t too happy” He tried to laugh but it came out more as a sob.

”And they were all like, “you're sick in the head boy” and “I didn’t know I could have raised such a disgusting child”, why? Why can’t they just love Oikawa-san?”

Tooru pulled the sobbing boy into a hug he cried and cried until he finally calmed down.

”They asked me if there was anyone I loved. I told them I was in love with my close friend. They are moving me to my aunts to start my first year of high school so I don’t have to see him again.”

Tooru felt light headed. Suzuki had been so brave to have confessed the truth to his parents when they were found out. Tooru couldn’t even think of telling his mom and sister without getting nauseous.   
  


They cuddled in Tooru’s bed until Suzuki spoke up, “Do you have someone you love Oikawa-san?”

He gulped, “Yeah”

”Does he know?”

”No”

”Will you ever tell him?”

”No”

”Okay”

Tooru wishes he could be half as brave as Suzuki.

When his first year at Seijoh started he made signed up for the volleyball club with one goal in mind: finally make it to nationals.

His summer with Suzuki had been fun up until the end and he tried to push the fact about how hot Iwa had gotten over their summer alone.

He met his new teammates Makki and Mattsun. They were practically made for each other. And he saw that over the course of the year how much they fell for each other. 

When the four of them were walking home Iwa realized that he forgot something and went to go back. It was one of the rare quiet moments where his fan club didn’t bother him.

He wanted to to brave like Suzuki, he wanted his feelings to be out there for once. He wanted someone to rely on.

He clinched his shaking fists and took a deep breath, “I’m in love with Iwa-chan”

Makki and Mattsun looked back at him shock evident of their faces. They then looked at each other to see if they heard him right.

Makki spoke up first, “I was wondering when you were gonna admit it.”

Tooru tensed at that.

Mattsun spoke up next, “Like you knew it Makki I was the one the pointed it out to you on our first day of practice because you were fawning over Oikawa”

Makki rolled his eyes, “I wasn’t fawning Oikawa’s just really hot”

The three of them started bursting out laughing.

”Your awful” Tooru stated inbetween laughs.

”We know”

_Sixteen_

In the middle of his second year the worst this happened. Iwa got a girlfriend. And the real kicker was it was Misaki. Misaki had really grown into her looks. Her light brown hair and slender body made her one of the most popular girls. He guesses Misaki will always be the prettiest.

He pushed himself more into practice, he couldn’t stand seeing them together, but he was terrified of telling Iwa the truth.   
  


He decided to focus on beating Ushiwaka this year once and for all. He needed to end this petty rivalry and finally break down the wall.   
  


His knee didn’t seem to agree with his intense training. Tooru was staying after practice when he felt his knee give out. He sat on the ground for what felt like hours in so much pain. He bite his lip to avoid crying out in pain.

He crawled to his bag and pulled out his phone.

”Hey Iwa-chan can you come to the gym?”

”...”

”...”

”Iwa-chan?”

”Yeah hold on Oikawa”, “Yes Misaki it is Oikawa. No it’s not another girl. Yes I’m positive.”

He hung up after that, he closed his eyes willing the pain to go away. When Iwa finally showed up he studied Oikawa before going, “What the hell happened?!”

”Aha you know my knee kinda gave out” He tried to smile but it came out more as a wince.   
  


Iwa-chan didn’t even respond he grabbed Tooru’s phone and called his mom telling her where to pick them up.

He leaned into Iwa for a couple minutes until he finally said, “Haijme do you think it’s over for me?”

Iwa looked shocked for a second but then he schooled his expression, “No dumbass if there’s anything I know it’s that you are one persistent bastard you wouldn’t let this get to you”

Tooru felt himself smile and realized even if Iwa had a girlfriend Tooru wasn’t unloved.

Tooru had to take six weeks off from volleyball, he still set the ball here and there but he wasn’t even allowed in the gym. The starting position he had was taken away just like that.

He also wouldn’t be able to play against Ushiwaka this year.   
  


  
Tooru didn’t really mind family dinners, but when they talked about politics he always wanted to crawl away.

“Don’t you think it’s a little crazy that the United States legalized gay marriage?” His mom asked, “I don’t really have anything against homosexuals but it’s a little unnatural”

”I guess it’s a little weird?”, His sister added.

”Yeah it is strange, good thing you guys aren’t gay”, She laughed at that.

”What if I was?” He spoke up carefully.

His sister eyed him surprised, his mom dropped her fork surprised.

”Your gay Tooru?”

”Yes” he answered softly.

”Are you sure? I mean you’ve had a lot of girlfriends maybe you just didn’t find the right one? That Aiko girl was super cute I really liked her. Your too young to know Tooru I’m sure you just didn’t find the right girl”

”You’re right I haven’t found the right girl because I don’t like girls!” He persisted.

Takeru watched with wide eyes and Tooru almost forgot he was there.   
  


“Listen to your mother Tooru, your not gay”, Her tone had a sort of finality to it.

He stood up grabbed his crutches and left to his room. He just wanted to die.

.

.

.

.

_Seventeen_

He’s only seen Iwa cry three times. The first time they were 7 and he had broke his arm. The next time me was 12 and his grandfather had passed away. And the third time he was 17 and Misaki broke up with him.   
  


That night he held a sobbing Iwa without a second thought. No matter his romantic feelings Iwa was always his best friend.

They don’t bring up that night again.

Tooru’s third year was supposed to be his best. So when he lost to Karasuno he wanted to cry and scream. But instead he hit a crying Iwaizumi in the back. Held his head up high and smiled gracefully.

Later when he got home he cried into his pillow.

Graduation was fast upon them when Makki and Mattsun finally got together. It took them two years of uselessly pinning to finally admit it to one another but finally they did it.

Tooru was the first person they told and he is not gonna lie and say he didn’t feel pride in that.   
  


The next weeks went by in a blur but he made sure to call a certain someone.

”Tobio-chan!!”

”... Oikawa-San?”

”Yes! How is my favorite student?”

”I-I’m fine? Why did you call me”

”Hinata boke shh I’m talking on the phone!”

”What you idiot shut up!”

”It’s Oikawa-san”

”I’m sorry Oikawa-san, but continue”

”You should confess to chibi, that’s the advice I’m leaving you”

”HUH?!”

He hung up at that and couldn’t help but fall into a fit of laughter.

.

.

.

.

The night before graduation Iwa confessed his feelings for Tooru. It was totally unexpected but it happened in the best way.

They were sleeping at Tooru’s house and sharing the bed. Iwa turned to him took a deep breath and said, “I’m in love with you. I’m telling you this because if we’re gonna go different ways soon and I didn’t want to leave you without telling you”

Tears rolled down Tooru’s face, “You idiot! I’ve always loved Iwa-chan!!”

They shared a kiss. It felt like coming home.

\- the end 


End file.
